KAPOW! Random Nonsense

Mr. Texas

2009-09-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

Current mood: sad
It's been such a long time since i've blogged. Life and laziness are to blame for that part, but today I just can't keep all my thoughts focused.

Around mid-July, I emailed my ex from college, Mr. Texas, to get some tips on sight seeing things in Seattle since I planned to go (which I did in late August), but never heard back from him. i figured two things: something was wrong, or he was really busy. I didn't think of it like him to not reply, but i know how things are now that we are older...and i just let the thought go.

Oddly, i was thinking about him a couple of weeks ago as i was looking at the night sky. He's the one that told me where the different constellations are in the Fall night sky. I always thanked him for sharing that bit of random information since i eventually used it in my studies of Astronomy a couple of years later.

He was passionate about the ocean, surfing, music and standing up for what he believed. At times, he was a complete jerk and at one point was an asshole in my eyes after his cowardly break up from our relationship. in time, my heart healed and i forgave him for his asshole-ness. Since then, we've communicated on RARE occassions, but more for quick updates about what's been going on. I knew I would never be his girlfriend nor would he ever be my boyfriend. It's just something I knew. We just weren't meant for each other.

Last night I saw that he emailed me, and opened it to find that his wife was emailing me to let me know that Eric had passed away LAST October 2008. I got one last email from him four days before he passed away...and all it said was, "are you there?"

His wife didn't go into details of how or why he passed away, but it's weird how a part of me is feeling extremely saddened by it. I remember him asking me (when we were together) to marry him, and that we would have cute children together. I wasn't ready for that because I still had goals i wanted to accomplish. He was already living back in Texas and me in SoCal. His drinking and his way of handling his anger bothered me. I didn't feel safe when he drank, but it's so weird how he was also the first guy to ever tell me that i was beautiful, and that i should start believing i was.

It's dumb to be sitting here with tear-filled eyes, thinking about an ex-boyfriend. from YEARS ago.

This just makes me realize how precious life is ,and how we take for granted those who love us so much. How I don't want to miss out on anything in my life, nor regret anything.

I never regretted that relationship. He apologized a year or two later, and i forgave him. I'm glad that he knew I did because there's always a small part of me that still cared. as a friend.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Eric Powell. Thank you for sharing your life with me in the short amount of time we had back at CSUN. I'll never forget you.

My 1st anniversary of my ahem decade.

2009-07-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

Life is beautiful.

I realized that yesterday as I was reflecting on my life in San Francisco. I was thinking about all my relationships with people who've come and stayed, or who've come and gone, and how precious everyone is in our lives. They're our angels that watch over us, and sometimes they need to take care of business in other people's lives...that's why we lose them. But when they are meant to be in your life - they are.

I haven't spoken to my best friend (since elementary school) for nearly two years. Someone who has been integrated into my family, my friends and my life for over 20 years...was gone. In those two years, I felt very alone and abandoned, but I had to fight my own battle of the skeletons in the closet that were hiding there for so long that I didn't even realize it. this is why she left. And this was how I started my birthday: trying to rekindle that cherished friendship with her because we are like family.

I've made attempts in the past to get in contact with her, but was always denied. I decided that an invitation to my birthday this year would be my final attempt of reaching out to mend our friendship, and she responded.

We had our own little celebration, and then we had the talk of what happened to us. why did our paths go their separate ways? And though we both thought we were going to cry during our reunion, we didn't. It's funny because as I'm sitting here, I feel very overwhelmed with emotions that I can't really put into words. We both hurt each other, and we both just want to fix and make things better between us.

After breakfast, we were walking along the bay, and she pointed out towards the city where you could see the thick, grey fog engulfing a part of the city.

"See that fog? I felt like you were trapped inside your own fog, and I wanted you to realize that you could fight and break through it. I just couldn't help you."

She said the pain I was experiencing was something she couldn't watch me go through, and knew she had to help others who were in much dire situations than mine. I know that there are people with less fortunate situations in our life, but sometimes you get involved in your own that you forget what it is you have right in front of you.

"You were like that butterfly...if you love it, set it free. If it was meant to be, it'll return. I guess it works the same in friendships."

I think it works with any relationship. It just hurts to let go of something that beautiful, never knowing if it will ever come back to you. You can only watch from a distance and hope that you are the home it longs for. Her and I unintentionally let each other go because we had to. We had to fight our battles that no one else could fight for us.

I wish we never lost those two years of friendship and as we both reflected back, we couldn't exactly remember when we let each other go, but do know it was two years ago. This was the year students wrote "F*ck you" on my stuff. She said she couldn't listen to how I was getting badgered by them, and how it was my reality. I just wish she could have been there to see that the life of education is not entirely roses.

What I got out of our reunion was a good two hour walk and talk with an old friend, and a terrible sunburn on my chest. that's what I get for wearing a tube top.

Later that day...

I decided to bake birthday cupcakes for myself. Even though, I was very tired from the walk and itchy from my sunburn, I was still determined to bake them. Once that was done, I headed out to the beach to stake claim on one of the bonfire pits, but failed. We just ended up making, which I found out later was illegal, our own bonfire pit. I dug most of it, while Koko put sand back into it.

I flew a kite for the first time in years. It was actually a lot of fun that it made me want to get one, but it cost $60. yikes.

We sat around the bonfire, listening to music, eating cherry bombs and smores...and eventually the cupcakes. Around 11, we got busted by park rangers for our illegal bonfire pit and everyone went home. My sister wanted to help me with all of the stuff in my car, but I knew she had to take care of her school work. I thought it was very sweet of her to even offer to do work at my place because I think she secretly knew that I did not want my birthday to end so abruptly. I love my Churbs for that.

I came upstairs, smelling of bonfire smoke and lay on my couch (which I will have to febreeze in a bit) and reflected on my life. We're always wanting MORE of something we don't know, but really...all I'm wanting more of is the love and interaction between my friends and family. I want to make memories with them, not reflect on the memories with them. Life is too short to dilly dally on what we want to do, and if opportunity to do something great for yourself arises....the only person who stops yourself, and this is true, is you.

Oddly, my dad taught me that by telling stories about his life. He never said, "if i can..." he always said, "i will..."

All about perspective. For a brief moment, I forgot what it was like to believe in myself, but I think I'm slowly coming back around.

my new year....so far...

2009-01-25T13:53:00.000-08:00

well. i have officially been bed-ridden sick for an entire week already! I was totally dandy and spunky last week, but it hit me hard on Tuesday morning (the day of the Inauguration) and I've basically been in bed the entire time. Well, except on Thursday when I attempted to go to work, but realized after an hour that it was a ridiculous idea. Only today have I been able to walk around, with the feeling of dizziness here and there. I'm feeling extremely weak, and i have no appetite at all. I've been forcing myself to eat because I do not want to go through some weird "shock" when I start to eat again.

Anyways, I feel terrible for missing work and also terrible for all the work that will be before me this week =( sadness to the max.

I haven't been able to write my 2008 rundown (yet), and I'm itching to do so. I just want to have some REAL reflective time to do it, and having to work and being sick has not exactly been good enough for me to do that. Reflecting back is also a bit painful because of all the crazy shananigans that have happened. Overall, 2008 is definitely not one of my favorite years. definitely. There were many WONDERFUL highlights, but yah....

Work has been overall good. WEll, aside from missing this past week, and I'm surprised at how much fun I am having. I was really sad for missing work, and I feel like I've let the students down by not being there. We also had a dance competition that I heard the team I was on, won =) there's a reason for everything right, but man, i was looking forward to it so much. I wanted to show my coworkers, my students and myself that I am capable of doing much more than just math/science. I wanted to show them this time.

Man, I'm totally out of it. My thoughts are all over the place right now and I want to take a nap. My chest feels like something is sitting right on top of it. So weird. Anyways, i'll talk to u later mr. blogger.

sitting around

2009-01-12T20:27:00.001-08:00

It's been a long time since I've signed onto the world of AIM. So the first conversation I have with an old friend is this:

Kay: do you realize that you have destroyed my woody?
Me: what?!
Me: how?
Kay: he is so obsessed with having a bigger pot than you in texas hold 'em
Me: LMAO
Kay: he can't stop playing
Me: that is tooooo funny
Me: hahahah
Kay: he is addicted
Me: he is trying to beat me?
Me: ahhaha
Kay: he keeps saying Jen has 40?!?
Me: hahaha
Me: 41 now ;-)

I just think it's funny how there's a competition that I didn't know of...

Andalu. Medjool. Ferrero Rochers.

2009-01-11T14:09:00.000-08:00

These past couple of weeks have been pretty hilarious. Well, hilarious to me =P

I came back from SoCal on Friday evening and vegged out in front of my tv watching the movie Micky Blue Eyes and attempting to unpack from my trip. Yah. that totally did not happen. On Saturday, I was going to unpack, but ended up on a trip to the North Bay where..get this...I won $167 (well, technically I won $267, but I had to count for the amount of money spent!) at River Rock Casino. It was fun times, and I oddly was convinced to sign up for a "player's card" because I might end up going there often. ahhaha

I came back to the city for an appointment and then ended up doing nothing else, but parlaying and getting ready for the next work day. Boo.

This past work week has been quite relaxing, and I am seriously loving the students this year. I love them every year, but this is the year I actually feel appreciated by them (either that, or they are straight up doing a good job with kissing my buttocks). This makes me love my job even more, and made me think - "so i have to endure 4 years of madness in order to get one year of goodness." Hmm. is that true? If it is, that sucks lol

And that leads us to last night...

My friend turned the big THREE-OH and wanted to have a small dinner at a restaurant called Andalu in the Mission. I invited my cousin as my "date" and she came over in the late afternoon. We went down to get some under $10 dim sum, and then headed back to my place. We were feeling reluctant to go to the dinner, and I was explaining to her my nervousness about seeing one of my friends (That is another story for another time). We also started talking about the book, He's Just Not That Into You and she was laughing the whole time. I have counted that as one of my favorite books, and even though it seems a bit f*cked up to read - it puts things into perspective when it comes to the so called "stupid boys." My cousin said, "I guess it wasn't the guys that were stupid, it was us for misinterpreting them." hahahah She concluded that she wants to write a book in response to that entitled, SHE'S just not that into you. I'd like to see her come up with that book...

I made her watch HIMYM while I took a shower, and once we were ready, headed out to the restaurant. I would like to say that I was quite impressed by the ambiance, as well as the price of the dishes. I would definitely like to go back to this place again! My cousin (Shielz) met my friends Denise, Francis, Jaime and Ingrid, as well as Denise's friends: Tia, Victor and Meisha. It was a lot of fun sitting and eating, and listening to the conversation of the different types of Gout medications out there. It was also a surprise when we learned of a Health Service Fee that you get charged if you bring your own desserts (Denise brought 9 cupcakes from a place called Sprinkles from Palo Alto). I will say though, that the cupcakes from Sprinkles were BOMB! I have always loved Magnolia's Cupcakes in NYC, but I do believe that Sprinkles has won my affection for the West Coast. Definitely a place I want to check out on my own sometime soon.

After the lovely meal at Andalu's, we headed over to Medjool. Ahh, yes. The rooftop was dopeass since it was a semi-clear night with a full moon (which btw, is the largest full moon for 2009). My cousin drank and danced, and it was a lot of fun. She ended up quoting some things from HIMYM, which I thought was funny since I didn't think she would like it so much. But she does!

Other random quotes from the evening:

"How come he's not paying attention to me? Maybe he's just not that into me."
"I totally forgot that your my ghetto girl." - apparently, I'm ghetto LOL
"He didn't want a high five, but that was awesome!"
"Oh, I'm sorry guys. Let's talk about something else. Let's talk about arthritis."
"Oh wow. I think these are the best balls I've ever had!"
"I just took my balls and froze them over night, and then fried them."
"Remember when I first met her, she told me that I needed to get laid." LOL

Yah. Those are the memorable quotes. =D

The night ended with us leaving the bunch at Medjool, driving home, knocking out as soon as we got dressed for bed, and me laughing because I forgot she had bought a huge box of Ferrero Rochers (which are sitting on my coffee table). I love it!

Hmm. I had other things I wanted to write about, but my friend from the North Bay text me to tell me she's on her way, and I need to clean my apartment. Maybe even squeeze in a nap? We'll see...

Coming up: A new year

2008-12-31T13:48:00.000-08:00

It's the final day of 2008, and of course, what better way to celebrate the end of the year than with family and/or friends. I'm sitting in my parents' kitchen, typing this on my brother's laptop (which btw, does not have a working question mark, so if you see "<" it's intended for a question mark hehe) and mental preparing myself for the new year.

I have a lot of ideas and plans that I want to make sure I carry out, and a lot of it deals with trying to find the EXACT place I want to be. I miss San Francisco, but what is it about that place that I really miss> (there you go...the missing question mark) When I spoke with my friend Denise, we both figured it out - it's the fact that we were able to "build" our own life in SF. I'm financially independent, socially independent and well...just independent. I'm not 100% sure of what I'm trying to say, but I think i've reached a point in my life where I just want to share myself, and what i have.

Anyways, I think I'm getting ahead of myself here. I have a list of things I want to do differently, and I have a few goals I would like to accomplish. For the past couple of years, I have put who I really am aside. You get lost when you move to a new city and it's hard to find yourself because you get distracted by all the beauty/ugliness that the place has to offer. I "misplaced" my strong beliefs, my convictions, and my passion for what I love because of fear of being ridiculed. I'm not even sure why i did that.

I miss playing tennis. I miss running my insane 6 miles/day. I miss downloading, listening and dancing to music. I miss this part of me that I left here in SoCal, and this upcoming 2009 - I'm taking her with me to the Bay. I just need to buy a tennis racket, get my ankle 100% better and find DJ friends lol

Ok. I'm babbling. Those aren't my only "goals" for new years, but just some things i've been playing with in my head. I have to help clean up now for dinner tonight.I'm also cooking pancit, lumpia and i dunno, maybe, chicken adobo =)

I still need to write my rundown of 2008, but oh well, I'll do that later.

Happy New Years!

A season that gives reason...

2008-12-25T17:39:00.000-08:00

...to blog!

I have been free from work for almost a week, and let me tell you that is has been a quick vacation. I am a little bit sad to go back to work soon, but also at the same time very excited to see what the new year has to bring. It'll be wonderful.

There are some things I did not accomplish before my trek down here to SoCal. One was my laundry. I ran out of quarters, and of cash. It was pretty sad that I decided that it was best to just pack the 5 loads of laundry (yes, it was that much) and bring it down here to my parents house. Advantage : free laundry and i can do it at anytime, disadvantage:i have to lug it back to the bay. boo. No complaints. It's alright.

I wanted to finish some work before bring that along with me also, but i think that it's a well deserved ignore work for 2 weeks kinda deal and I'm glad that is how I've been working with it. That's work for you.

This Xmas holiday is different from the past because my two brothers are not here. It's actually the first time both of them are not here (they're on the East coast) and they won't be here for another couple of days. I just think it's so odd how life has changed so much, and how much our family still wants to hold on to the tradition of opening gifts ALL together. It's also not the same kind of spirit because there are no children around. In all honesty, I think in some way they bring that magic to Christmas. The innocence and smile of their face, and just overall - loving life.

I'm not 100% sure what I'm trying to write in this entry, but I do know that I do miss writing. Just giving myself time to let everything in my mind somehow be conveyed on screen/paper is a great thing. It's like a form of letting go of all that you feel or think inside.

Anyhoo, I guess that's all for now. I'm doing my second load of laundry and I'm quite proud of myself. Trying not to scarf down all the good food has been a challenge. I've started to think of my new resolutions to help better myself, and i've even decided to set up some things I want to accomplish. Those are still in the process, as well as my annual rundown of each year. *sigh* good times.

That's all. Time to party with the laundry and the family.

my, my, my...

2008-12-07T17:31:00.000-08:00

it sure looks like it's been a long time since i've written anything. Give someone a month, ask them to write about everything that's happened since then and you'll see a look of disbelief on that person's face.

i don't really know where to begin with everything's that has happened within the last month and a half causing me to become M.I.A from the rest of the world. Long story short, i'm just dealing with a lot of things that have just recently come to my attention in terms of myself and of my family.

I've been meaning to write about the funny shananigans that have occured, but i've been too lazy, too busy or just forgetful. I have now decided to write because I'm procrastinating haha

I'm a blank page right now. Not much going on in the noggin, so that's all. Just wanted to write a quick update about where i've been. i've been around, but haven't been good about being around people.

Basketball and Work MAdness

2008-10-28T22:28:00.001-07:00

Well, I've had a lot of things that I wanted to write about, but you know...laziness, lack of time and other stuff get in the way. But i have to write about today's adventures. Short hand styles.

1.) I'm mad at my TA:
I think she is TOTALLY bullshitting me when she said, "i didn't do anything..." because our computer is now making funkdafied electrical sounds. I used that computer this morning to create worksheets, and it was fine. I even used to check my email during my prep period, then the last thing I saw was her looking at some website for ringtones. I heard her drop her book, and then loud noises. I asked her what she did and she told me, "i just put my book on the desk and it started making that noise."
WTF?

Umm, she so did not just say that. I've dropped my binder, my bag and my book many times on top of that desk and not once, NOT ONCE! did it ever do something like that. So, I think she's lying to me. I think she downloaded something on to it and doesn't want to fess up. So now I have tech problems coz i can't print from my place (no paper) and I can't print from there (busted computer). Bullshit yo. Now I have to bring my laptop to work.

2.) Books
Part of a committee in charge of selecting new books for our department (well, the district) and today I shared my experience with my students. I love them this year so much. I love them every year, but I feel like more of them are trying to kiss my buttocks more and oddly, good for them. Too bad I don't grade based on likeability. I grade based on work.

3.) Random
If a student says, "there's my wifey, that's my wifey..." as i'm walking by, what does that mean?

and last but not least...

4.) THE COOLEST WEBSITE EVER!
Only because i've been cable tv deprived, and have had no access to the world of live time sports. It's boring watching the news and reading ESPN. So tonite, I found this website: http://www.tnt.tv/sports/nba/overtimeYAH09_live.jsp

Oh yes, my pretties, that was one of the dopest links I have ever stumbled upon. I got to watch the whole lakers vs. trailblazers game online! With a mosaic view - that is adefinitely a plus. I'll be watching sports via TNT website from now on.

5.) My Fantasy Team
I realize that in my rash decision making, I picked up some pretty terrible players. So tonite, I spent some time re-evaluating my players and have a (sorta) new list:

Monta Ellis (suspended for some time. stupid.)
Peja Stojakovic
Derek Fisher
Mike Dunleavy
Pau Gasol
Mickael Pietrus
Andris Biedrins
Brook Lopez (taking a chance on a rookie)
Thaddeus Young
Gilbert Arenas (broken)
Jameer Nelson
Grant Hill
Antonio McDyess
Rudy Fernandez
Cuttino Mobley

There you have it. My Tuesday. and now i must go sleep for I have fulfilled another thing - going to the WArriors Opening Game tomorrow nite! yay

sleepy.

2008-10-26T01:10:00.000-07:00

It may not seem like I did much today, but I sort of did. I guess. Anyways, I went to Fort Point, and actually went INSIDE the fort, and omg - i felt like running through the halls. But of course, I did not. yet.

Then I had a NBA Fantasy draft, and sadly - my team isn't as good. I forgot Monta Ellis is suspended for awhile, and i have a couple of players that I am unsure of their status coz i didn't have time to read up on them. But here is my draft picks:

Pau Gasol, Peja Stojakovic, Monta ellis, Derek Fisher, Andirs Biedrins, Mike Dunleavy, Michael Pietrus, Ben Wallace, Thaddeus Young, Gilbert Arena, Carl Landry, Jamieer Nelson, Grant Hill, Jason Kapono nd Erick Dampier

Tada.

ok. now i go sleep. more later.

HOME!

2008-10-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

So...

I'm at home. ha! unfortunately, my reason for being home is the same reason i was home last Friday and that is due to sickdom. booooooooo!

The past week was very, VERY interesting considering that i started out fine, and then ended up in crying on Friday morning (well, not really crying, but you know...frustratedly crying) that I was not feeling well. There were many very random things that happened last week that I personally thought were hilarious. Let's see if I can remember despite all this sickness...

Sun/Mon - Umm, kind of drama-ish, but what's life without a little drama? HAPPY!

Tues - huh. I honestly don't remember what the heck happened on tuesday? oh dear gulaman, how did that happen? oh wait...well, the students were taking a test and I saw this millipede hanging out in the front of the classroom, just making circles. I figure it was chasing itself or something. Anyways, can I just say that they look really, really gross? I decided to be good biologist by saving it by taking it outside. It, however, was very reluctant to join the wild. It kept jumping off the paper I was carrying it on, and the students ended up watching me the whole time instead of taking their test. I guess I am much more amusing than wanting to have to pass their test. Anyways, I finally got mr. millepede out the room and shivered. Damn. That was one ugly mofo.

Wed - I tutored after work and laughed the whole time, while feeling the itchiness in my throat. I ended up going to Starbucks with my friend, and then home to watch the debate. That in turn lead to me not watching the debate due to the fact that my phone was being abused by others wanting to contact me. It ended up I watched about maybe 25 minutes of the debate - in total. John and his friend picked me up, and we headed out into the city to discuss what it would be like to change the voice of your GPS pal. I mentioned it should be with a Tagalog accent, and we elaborated it into how it would yell at you for not making the turn it told you to make. calling you stupid and such, you know what most Filipino parents might tell you when you do something stupid. It turned out to be one of the funnest weekdays I've had in the longest time because of the conversations, and probably the three mai tais i consumed ahhah

Thurs ahh yes. The sickness of it begins. My favorite is what I did in third period. Oddly, I woke up Thursday morning feeling pretty damn refreshed, actually, I woke up at 530am even. Go figure. I decided to go to work early, and I got some things done. It was cute. Somehow, when I'm sick, I become...very ditzy. I start to say what I'm thinking outloud, especially if I get frustrated. I also tend to make a fool out of myself more, and in all honesty, I'm not sure how that happens. So, the funny story of the day, which i will share later.

Ok. that's all. For now. Friday I got sick. I was scolded by our secretary, and well instead of getting scolded again - I am home. online. about to go back to sleep and rest. that is all. now go do your work...

p.s. i also decided to make my photoblog open to public again :) it makes me happy.

My random weekend....again.

2008-10-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

Why is it when I try to sleep in on the weekends, I fail miserably? Always the case every single time. Oh, well.

So, unlike last weekend with the craziness adventure of wandering the bay area like true nomads, I kind of stayed within the area due to my lack of funds. Yesterday I woke my buttocks up early and headed on down to Golden Gate Park to meet up with my friend, Woody. He was a volunteer at the Breath for Life race, which I intended to participate in, but forgot. We ended up walking to the D. Young Museum (where I just went for the first time last weekend) and up to this infamous tower I've heard so much about. All I can say is, "I should have brought my camera." I literally gasped as I stepped off the elevator to see such a beautiful view of the sunset/richmond district and the Pacific Ocean. It was like a (semi) 360 degree view of the city, and I was in awe. Woody had been there so many times that he sort of rushed me, but realized...I WAS AWE STRUCK. damn, beautiful and definitely worth going back to, which I intend on doing next weekend because of a cool event going on there. Maori tattooists will be there doing actually tattoos on people who've registered to get them done. I was almost tempted to sign up, but I don't know what kind of design I would want. There's also going to be a cool exhibit of a bunch of things from New Zealand, so I definitely want to go. It'll be a fun event.

Anyways, after that we headed on over to the Academy of Science. Being a free member is cool coz I get to go in whenever I want! We sat at the aquarium spots for a bit, and wandered around up the living roof, which was alright. It was definitely NOT as breath taking (view wise) as D. Young, but it was dope to see how all that plant life is thriving like crazy! I also got to see those vent things kinda adjusting itself. haha After the lovely museum madness, we headed over to the inner sunset where I purchased new shoes (again), but they are super cute! No Lie. They are super expensive (also, not a lie) so I will have to utilize them to the max. I did have a weird incident with the worker in there, but i'll let it slide.

Did some work, spent some time reading old stuff i use to write, and then talked to my sister for awhile. it was pretty chill.

And that leads us to today....

Once again, up freaking early, but in an angry state of mind. Not entirely sure, but I felt mad from the dream I woke up from. Don't you hate it when that happens? ANYWAYS!

1. I was bored out of my mind. I never really go on Facebook that much and do stuff on there, unless it's for flair or status updates. Especially with work and not so much of a fan of it, I hardly use it, but because of my early rising...eh, I browsed around.

upon my browsing, I stumbled upon an application called "My House." It's build your own house, and it sounded interesting since I've been contemplating on this whole buying a house thing. So, I add the application only to find that I get 1,000 credits to buy my first house. What are my choices? A beat up shack, a tent and a trailer. I was thinking, "wtf? that's it?!" coz there were other options, but I couldn't "buy" them. I was kinda annoyed, so I decided of the three, I thought the tent fit my personality more. Plus I can just pack my tent and move to another place, right? hahahah

So, I buy the tent. It's cute, and then there's an option to buy decorations and such. I notice the only things I could really buy are tumbleweed, dead grass, dead weed, a broken grill and the signs for the presidential elections. I was like, "dood. are you serious?" At this point, I only had 500 credits left (my tent was 500), and so I bought...dead grass. LOL i'm totally making it now!

sooooo, there's this other option where you get to "battle" how cool your house is to others. I decided, "why not?" and of course, I was competing against the beat up shack. I was like, "dood. i'm so gonna win, my tent rocks." So I click the button to see that the freakin' shack won! LOL so i did a re-match. denied! I was so over it, that I turned it off, but laughing in the process because I am so entertained by my tent and dead grass.

2. Anyhoo, I decided to ask Bunks to go eat lunch and we did...at Ocean Taqueria. I don't know how this happened, but I accidentally ate a piece of foil. I'm even amazed as to how that happened, or how I allowed that happen? I dunno. All i know was I was super excited to eat the chicken burrito. I was chewing, and then swallowed the bolus (hahaha nerd) and realized something was stuck in my throat. The smoothness and after taste was metallic like. It started to scratch my throat a little bit that I told Bunks, "I think I swallowed a piece of foil." and he looked at me kinda like, "wtf?" and "only you." I drank some soda, and it moved on down the digestive track of happiness. But I was in awe. Go figure. Only me, right?

The rest of the day was kinda chill. Went to J-town with Sensei and black bear, and then went to fort Funston for the first time. It's actually got a pretty cool view of the city, and there's a walk way to the beach. I had no idea it was like a little dog park! Well, anyways, I saw some sea jellies hanging out on the sand and took a picture of them. cuteness. We went back to Starbucks, and did some work. Ate at red robin, and then here i am writing this blog. well, i've been home for over an hour, but i had to take care of some stuffs, which i'm still not done with either.

So, that's my weekend. Next weekend should be fun since my friend from SoCal will be here =)

Seriously. Random.

2008-09-28T20:57:00.001-07:00

This has been a very weird few weeks for me. Why? I just feel kind of run down, and that I'm in some weird anti-climatic phase of my life. Is that normal?

Anyways, this has been one of the funniest and randomest weekends because of the opening of the Academy of Sciences. I, the marine nerd that i am, was way too excited for the grand opening that I woke up at 645am on SAturday, in hopes of being one of the first million people to get to see the place for the first time. Of course, that did not happen due to 1.) cleaning my apartment, 2.) waiting for john to beat the traffic and 3.) waiting for dan at crepevine. By the time we knew it, it was already 2pm (or maybe even 3pm?) and academy of science was no longer open to the public. booooooooooo. There were, however, many great highlights of the adventure, which of course I will share....

- the extreme line of porta-potties. Goodlord, i've never seen so many porta-potties all in one place.
- the attempt of going in the D Young Museum's tower. failed.
- Lots of random pictures especially with the light post that i claimed look like an ice cream scooper.
- Lori and RJ (coz it was Mark's favorite band ever)
- Establishing that being a wing man for one of your girl friends is not as effective as being the wing woman for your boy friends LOL Dan and John illustrated this nicely as we were walking to the Haight. I cannot get over it, it freakin' cracks me up.
- We established that "sometimes i sometimes" means rarely.
- Buying random shyet at AMoeba (well, just me)
- Some melon salad with fig. Dan asked me how the fig was (coz i've never had a real one before besides in Fig Newtons) and I said, "it kinda tastes like cigarette. like tobacco." John and Dan looked at each other with a look on their face of, "wtf?" coz of course, i sound crazy. Then I went on to explain, "you know, kinda like when you accidentally open your mouth and the smoke from a smoker goes into your mouth and you taste it." Once again, stares at each other. I gave a piece of the fig to Dan, and he said he kinda knew what I was talking about...continue on...
- We decided to ride the 6 down towards the Ferry building, but John saw a Coffee Bean, and he got super excited so we got off the bus
- From CB, we walked down to the Ferry Building, and then to freakin' Knuckles SportsBar at Fisherman's wharf. HELLA TIRED YO! I did manage to take a few night shots though ;)
- Said, "oh we can make it" as we tried to catch the 30. Yah, you had to be there.
- Crazy tree in the street
- Crazy 38 bus! hella crowded, and some chick kept stepping on my feet! It's like fucking hold onto something, bitch!
- Waiting for the 28 and John telling me to just throw down his things from my apartment, but when we got off the bus he went upstairs anyways ahha

And then, I sat my ass down on my couch and put ben gay on my poor ankle. Along with brace. and then...i fell asleep.

Woke up this morning to get my hair done (and it looks damn good, yo!), walked my ass over to Academy of Science, and like a science nerd, bought a year membership pass hahaha Even more nerdy was me going inside, smiling to myself and wandering into the aquarium (my FAVORITE part) and almost having a heart attack because i was sooooooooo excited to be there. You don't understand how happy i was to be in the presence of all those marine creatures, and it made me realize how much i miss going out to the tidepools. I miss my inverterbrates...especially the sea anemones and nudibranchs. soooo cute!

Then I went off shopping like a person who has money, and clearly i KNOW i don't, but i did anyway. Got back and graded, and then had a wonderful conversation with my brother. It was good to hear from him, and how cute it was for him to share about his terrible week with me. We use to be really close in high school, but not so much anymore due to locale reasons. I'm just glad that he still feels he can still talk to me about things that i KNOW he still values as important (though, he sometimes comes off as if he doesn't).

I know we're all in our own little bubbles, doing our own things, but sometimes you have to reach out to people to fill that spiritual void that we keep trying to ignore. Anyways, I feel like I did that this weekend. that's all.

where the heck have you been?

2008-08-31T08:54:00.000-07:00

Asks this blog.

Umm...actually, I've been all over the place? Last I remember I went to NYC for a week of ridiculously expensive eating (but omg, so totally worth it!), and to be an actual tourist with my friend, Trumpet. It was his first time in the Big Apple, and I have to say it was actually fun doing the tourist thing, no matter how much the natives probably hated seeing those red double decker buses. I even got to go on a water taxi that took us close enough to the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island and a small part of New Jersey. Trumpet left on the day of my brother's bday, and my brother and I went out to dinner with some of his friends to an Italian restaurant that was just...omg, good. One thing about NYC is the food. I have to admit, the variety and randomness is just too appealing. It might be just one reason why i have to go there at least once a year(which i've been doing for the past three).

Then it was directly off to SoCal. My brother ended up flying with me across the nation to spend time with familia. He was only there for a weekend, but I was there for almost a week. Friday evening was some bonding time with my friend Ness where we ended up missing the ceremony for our friend's wedding (08/08)and ended up at the reception a tad early. We left that place around 930pm or so to go frolicking down melrose to the Village Idiot, then off to somewhere in West LA at Father's Office. Interesting. FAther's Office has some dope ass cheeseburgers and fries. Headed off to Ness' apartment where we agree, her and i have no sense of decorational style. haha

Saturday was a chill at day with the family, but I got super angry at my dad. He said something that has made me question a lot of things about myself, and I hate that he has the ability to do that. You figure parents would be supportive after living on your own, debt free from the parents for about 4 years. Guess Not.

Sunday was a BBQ where I saw my ex boyfriend with his wife and child. And get this, the wife is pregnant again. it was like an elephant in the room because i've never met his wife, and from what i last heard - i was like his last girlfriend before her. So yes, I felt awkward...not sure if anyone else did.

Monday I went to visit a friend who just had her baby. He's too cute!

Tuesday was chill at home, and then Wednesday was when i flew back to the bay. SOme miscommunication ensued, and with what my dad had said still bothering the heck out of me...it just didn't make the miscommunication any better. It's all good now.

Then the infamous first day back to work on Aug. 18th. BOO! So yah...been busy.
Anyways, tha'ts all. I went for a run this morning, or well, attempted to run, but my ankle started acting out on me. I decided it was probably best to walk the rest of the way home instead of trying to run it. I got a little bit sad about that, but if my body isn't read to perform the tasks i have for it to do, then there's no point in probably injuring it again. I think.

Alright, that's all. I gotta shower. Yes. I didn't shower yet, who cares!

New York, NEw york...

2008-08-03T23:48:00.001-07:00

Big city of dreams.... or what my friend likes to say, "this place is surrealistically real."

So, after the lovely adventures with the Bay area folks, I decided to send myself off to the East Coast to visit my brother in lovely NYC, along with my friend Trumpet. So far, our trip has just been freakin' dope. It's only been TWO days, but we've done so much. By the way, this is Trumpet's first trip out to NYC, while this is my 4th? I think it's my 4th, yup it is.

Anyways, I arrived Friday night and was almost hustled into taking a non-yellow car into the city. I was sweating from all the humidity. It usually takes 1/2 hour to get to my brother's place, but because the state of New York decided it would be a good idea to repave it's freeway - it took a little over an hour, at which my brother was waiting for me at his apartment. Only thng was ...he was going out to a party that night, and left for the party around 130am, which was the time I basically got to his place. Madness. I was hungry coz the blue chips from Jetblue just were not good enough, so I ordered chinese food which was delivered to the door at 2am. What other place do i know in San Francisco that does that? umm, NONE that i know of! My brother told me he was not gonna be home, and that i could crash on his bed. omg - his OH, so damn comfortable bed! I loved it. WAtched tv, went online for a bit and then totally crashed around 3:30am EST. It wasn't a lot of stuff, but i was pretty tired from the trip.

Woke up Saturday morning to the sounds of my alarm going off 6:30am PST, and then my brothers' alarms going off at 730am EST. so my sleep, was not real sleep. Trumpet came in that morning, and he didnt' get to sleep on his red eye flight coz of some crazies behind him that were talking more than they should, and the flailing person who sat one seat away from him...

well, i am getting pretty damn sleepy. i think i will end it here for now...but yah. that was a boring entry. Goodnite hahahaha

The Month of July

2008-07-28T16:53:00.000-07:00

started off really rough and slow, but towards the end has been one of my memorable moments since my move to the bay.

Turning another year older, wasn't just another year older, it felt like i was entering some new "era" of life, where things have to start pushing forward. I just didn't (or maybe still don't) know which direction that should be. I always imagined my life would be completely different from what it is now, and i am NOT complaining, just stating that this was not how i imagined my life to be. at this moment. the now.

But I made the best of it, along with help from a few of my friends. Friends, who seriously, made me laugh til i cried - which I haven't done in months, who purposely abducted me from my apartment, who shared their own adventure of life and their view of life's expectations. i loved these past couple of weeks so much that i don't want it to end, coz you know...reality of it all is...we need to go back to work. booo.

Ok, so according to my friend (who i like to call) Jewel, i've been drinking every weekend. Could you blame me? It's my birthday month, and dammit! it's a month long celebration. I can't go into detail of all the crazy shananigans that have ocurred within the month, but i can list some fun highlights. I'm sure I may have forgotten some good ones...but hey...work with me...i'm gettin older =P

this highlight list in no particular order, just the order i remember them (oh, and it's only the positive shyet that's happened):

- fireworks from the golden gate bridge
- movies, movies, movies
- Friends on tv 247 (well, almost 247)
- stats project
- summer bar nights
- crepevine, ghirardelli and embarcadero
- postCOIT tower being shocked, along with the bay bridge
- Embarcadero walk for an open bar
- Free ride on MUNI
- Steps of Rome: dancing with the waiters in a drunken stupor as prince charming tried to put his hand up cinderella's dress. As well as creating the fantasy scene at the window, and taking very random pics.
- Designated driver decided to drive through a red light, and she had nothing to drink.
- Zanze's cheesecake with white merlot and John persuading us to join MobWars (and it is still a no).
- Blowing bubbles out the window
- Packing for a surprise trip to SoCal (4 hrs of sleep yo)
- Dark Knight and Benihana
- Surprise visit with flowers and a chocolate cake
- Bomb squad at Ocean Beach was trying to deter us from our goal of seeing the ocean, but we drove through GGP to see men dressed in all white.
- Satellite sighting - First Wife's first...she claims to have seen 50. we only saw one, which i made a wish to see more satellites.
- Stow Lake, Twin Peaks and a drive through Haight
- Stop. Slow Down band
- Photography lesson
- 24 hour Buffalo Wings place (dood, hella dope!)
- A night club that turns into a karaoke joint! lol
- Cristobrownball
- "Mama Jen is gonna cook us breakfast for lunch?"
- Burnt by the cooking of bacon
- Adventure dome: how do you decide who wins a tied air hockey game? Play rock, paper, scissors; White tiger and pink bear, beat Georgio in Initial D race!
- 2 orders of a the 12 pc meal from KFC,
- All you can drink Wristbands at Risque
- Cosmos and red headed sluts
- Pictures galore
- "What's my name bitch?!"
- Noemi from the bathroom
- Wheelchair
- "do you remember what happened last night?" "Yes, but i'm too embarassed to say.." lol
- Buffet at Orleans looking for Jewel's twin
- Laughing as we drove away from Orlean Buffet
- Laundry
- 2 hour flight delay
- Fog.

uhh, is there more? probably, but i can't recall right now. i'm too caught up trying to think of how i'm going to finish my stats project, study for a final that is freakin' long: 212 questions. who does that kinda shyet?

Ok, well the adventure continues - NYC and SoCAl are next on my list....

Tv on dvd

2008-07-12T13:18:00.000-07:00

is a terrible thing!

i can honestly say that i have spent the past couple of weeks in my apartment rather than exploring the world and what it has to offer me. my apartment. geez! will nothing seem to go right?

with everyone starting to settle down in long term relationships, marriages, and goodness gracious, children; i've noticed a decrease in the amount of social elbowing with folks. i miss these people. I miss going out with them, and making our own memories instead of making memories (or maybe even re-living them) with characters on tv. tv on dvd is dangerous. it sucks you in, and before you know it - it's already midnight and you're sitting, wondering, "what did i accomplish today?" the only things anyone could say would be what the characters on tv accomplished.

i'm in a crap of a class in the morning, and i seriously, just go home and watch. sometimes i'll get the nerve to walk down to the beach, the Haight, or just anywhere to escape this place i call home. This is a home, but i don't want to be in it literally 24 hours a day. my spirit needs to roam around the world, and dammit, it can not roam around in an apartment for this long.

today, i woke up to get my car washed (which btw, they didn't do such a good job), bought myself a #7 from Micky d's and then plopped myself back on my couch. i'm forcing myself to get up in about 4 minutes to take a shower and do some bay area wandering, because i need to. i owe it to myself to make a beautiful story of my life, and obviously i cannot keep daydreaming, wishing and watching it happen on tv.

huh. what an odd post.

Silly mom

2008-07-02T20:43:00.000-07:00

My mom is kinda funny, no wait...she is funny.

It's the long weekend for most folks, and as most folks everyone's trying to leave the city they live in to visit family, friends and what not. i haven't been home in awhile, wait...when was the last time i was home? Yah, I haven't been home in awhile, and I kind of want to see my family before my birthday (which is coming up sometime this year), and so i called to ask my mom's opinion. Here we go, the convo:

"So, I was thinking of coming home this weekend. What are you guys doing?"
"why do you want to come home? we aren't doing anything."
"I just want to come home, you know to visit. I haven't been there in awhile.."
"you know the gas prices are too expensive, i don't know if you should drive down here...it's too much money." (this is coming from my mom who also told me that the reason why i couldn't afford my car was because i couldn't afford my rent. umm, ok)
"so, i shouldn't come down? i do have a free ticket on Southwest, i can just book that. would you pick me up?"
"But we aren't doing anything, so i don't know if it's worth coming down here for."

Umm, is it me or is my mom basically telling me not to come home, or is she pulling one of those reverse psychology things on me? hahaha

waiting..

2008-06-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

for the sun to break through the clouds
for the day when i will not have to decide: glasses or contacts?
for the rules and expectations of the project that i need to have done
for my birthday to roll around and have me act a fool
for the day that we can no longer talk or text while driving
for the day i get on the plane to NYC, then to SoCal
for the day to meet my new neices and nephews
for the day when i will feel okay again
for the day when i will at Hold 'Em without being distracted by HIMYM or singing
for the day when i can eat at Naan and Curry again
for our professor to arrive
for the lasagna waiting for me in my fridge
for nose to stop peeling due to a sunburn
for things to fall into place for me
for myself to finally buy my own place
for myself to ask people for help
to stop being lazy and take care of what i need to do
for my next trip out of the country: fiji or new zealand anyone?
for a new cute cellphone to come out
for me to run out of things to type on this blog
for chickens to fly (or is it pigs?)
for .....

well, what do you know - i've run out of things that i'm waiting for..or have i?

The First Test

2008-06-26T14:01:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to sleep well for the past few days. I don't know why, but dreams have been bothersome and I just can't shake them ugly feelings away. Well, one time I woke up and thought it was like 7:30am, but no...i was like 4 hours ahead of myself: it was 3:30am. I thought, "dammits. what the heck."

Anyways, that's just something i thought i would share...so last night, i was supposed to study for my first exam in for the class i am taking, but instead of that i did the next best thing and that was to procrastinate. If i feel like I'm semi-confident, I don't study the night before...i cram the next morning lol.

So what did i do? I abducted one of my friends and we had our restaurant gauntlet (restaurantguantlet.blogspot.com). While we were eating dinner, I told him how i would not rest until i found blueberries and white merlot because i've had a craving for them for the past few days now. I told him I was going to continue the adbuction to BevMo and also to Trader Joe's. What was such a simple thing, turned into a tangent of weird events. I won't go into detail of it too much, but here's the highlights:

1. BevMo does NOT have all the beverages you could dream of coz there was no white merlot. ALSO i ended up buying pear cider and guiness (snakebites baby)
2. We tried to follow the sun and imagine it carrying two scoops of raisins. Pity we only had our camera phones. boo.
3. Trader Joe's had no blueberries OR white merlot either. Annoyance escalates until...

4. Linens and Things.

As we walked out of TJ's (myself being very disappointed in my failed search), I saw the red and yellow signs - "EVERYTHING MUST GO!" there's a sale going on...

went inside. of course, there are no blueberries nor bottles of white merlot, but i did come away with a dope looking pillow, a pasta ladle, and soft towels. it was a great adventure, and apparently my friend had a great time of documenting those events his own special way. haha

Oh, yah...about my test...

So, I came home. Studied (sort of), and seriously, dreamt of the damn formulas and definitions of things. Calculating things..it was weird. Woke up at 7am. Decided to sleep in, but i woke up only 30 minutes later and decided to go for a 20 min walk which turned into a 45 min walk, then working out in my living room for a bit. Then finally opening my notebook for about 10 minutes before heading to class.

Got superb parking. Sat in the class, and my partner laughed at me when i told him i studied for 2 hours (liar. i studied for like less than that..lol) and then i told him i had to relax. so he told me to use meebo.com hahaha i ended up chatting for a bout 5 minutes before deciding to sign off, and study again.

So, she passes out the exam. 25 questions. How long did it take to do?

TWO HOURS

goodness gracious. My partner and i were like annoyed as heck. Anyways, after the test...i was walking out the door to turn in my test in the other room and said, "omg, that test is fucked up." and after the sea of students moved out of the way, there was my professor was sitting at the desk...smiling. how embarrassing.

Umm, so yah. That's my adventure, well not really, but hey...it's an amusing read. kapow.

Regular Flavor Oatmeal

2008-06-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

I'm in class (again) waiting for it to begin, and I've decided I want to share my very short adventure of Regular Flavored Oatmeal.

I woke up pretty early this morning and decided that I wanted to have a real breakfast, besides the regular breakfast bar, and thought, "oh, why not eat oatmeal. i've got time."

So I walk over to the kitchen and pull out the lovely brown and blue packet of oatmeal. i realize that i needed to take a shower, so i did that, and came back out to boil the water while i was getting ready. When I was done, I ripped open the little bag and poured it into the bowl, kind of excited to eat, what i thought was Peaches and Cream oatmeal, but once I poured the boiling water into the bowl and realized there no peach colored thingys in there, i asked myself (aloud), "hey, where are all the little peaches that are supposed to be in here?" and bam. i knew it. i poured the wrong type of oatmeal - it was Regular flavor.

I figured regular oatmeal wouldn't be so bad, it's supposedly healthy for you, but once i took my first spoonful of the oatmeal, i wanted to spit it back out. i, then, rememebered why I eat flavored oatmeal, coz regular is just GROSS! it tastes like cardboard, if that's what cardboard taste like. I took another 4 spoonfuls, and decided i needed some flavor. I had no condensed milk, no brown sugar or honey and so i opted for what might have been the best thing: bananas.

So cut some bananas and put in the oatmeal, semi-proud of myself for thinking of a way to save this gross tasting oatmeal. I mixed it up a bit, took another spoonful and realized, "shyet. this tastes just as bad as regular oatmeal." of course, another look of disgust went across my face, and well...i forced myself to eat it because 1. i was hungry, 2. i used a banana and 3. it's supposedly healthy. umm whatevers...

So, what is this post about? Nothing really. just thought i'd share my freakin' moment of realization that i've always disliked regular flavored oatmeal, and even with fruits in it..it's still just as gross tasting.

thanks. and have a spunky non-regular flavored oatmeal day.

In class

2008-06-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

Alright. So this is like day 6 of this class that i'm taking at one of the local community colleges, and without fail, our professor has been late to class at least 30 minutes each time. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but i find myself online doing nonsense things, like this (blogging), chatting or looking for some interesting news to read.

We have a test on Thursday, and honestly, i have no real clue of the format of the test. Is it multiple choice? short answer? It's really, really weird. Anyways, i just thought i'd post something while i'm sitting here, once again, waiting for class to begin... more later. maybe.

It's 7am all day...

2008-06-22T10:34:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning without the sun beaming through the windows, and looked at the clock to realize it was 10:30am, and not what I thought was 7 am.

I have to admit, i do miss the fog. You would think that I would still miss having the constant heat every single day in the summer, but I don't. I actually am glad there is fog today because it means I can go somewhere else for the sun. The fog, to me, is an escape from the heat from all other parts of the bay. THat may not make any sense to you, and that is because i'm writing this after only being awake for like ten minutes. hahah

The only downfall with 7am all day weather is just that...i never really know what time it is. It looks the same all day and i could easily get lost in tv on dvd marathons, cleaning my apartment, chatting online, or even just laying on my carpet while i stare at the ceiling. That's when i know i have to force myself to do something productive.

Anyways, with the last day of heat (yesterday), I went to the ice cream shop and then the beach with my cousin and her two kids, who are freakin' adorable! I kind of felt like i was living in SoCal for a brief moment being at the beach with the lovely heat. It was so cool to see everyone out there on the sand with little umbrellas, and some people starting to make a bonfire. I want to have a bonfire. My birthday's coming up, and maybe i'll make it that chill. eh. i dunno.

time to get ready for dim sum, ha!

Feeling hot, hot, hot!

2008-06-20T09:51:00.000-07:00

It's only 9:55 in the ay em, and let me say that it is pretty damn warm outside. So, the people of the east bay who like to complain that SF is too damn foggy and cold are typically correct, but today...(and yesterday, and the day before) it's been pretty damn nice! To the point that I like to call it "tube top day."

Tube Top Day means exactly what it is...you get to wear a tube top (men can also if they'd like). I have to thank my friend FW who has somehow changed my perspective of summer attire because I LOVE my tube tops that I have, and i've also learned that I do not like having tank top tan lines as well. The only downfall with a tube top is the fact that you can't reach your back to apply sunblock. *shrugs* just as well, i guess.

Anyways, so i'm thinking of wearing a tube top today. I'm in a tank top already, but I kind of want to go on a walking adventure in the sun and that means there is a big possibility of getting burnt...with a tank top tan. no thank you. I just need to buy more shorts or skirts to go along with these tube tops. Gotta look semi-cute you know?

On another note, I should be doing laundry, but the machines are full (again!). That's the disadvantage of having only one washer and one dryer in this aprtment building. There should always be at least two of each.